Know What’s Weird?

Here’s my latest piece of flash based on the photo prompt from The Angry Hourglass…


My dog used to bark too much. I was gonna name him Spike, but I thought to myself that’s too cliché. So I named him Gronk, because of Rob Gronkowski of course. He spikes one hell of a football. See I like to make things by association, kind of like how Zeppelin called “Black Dog” “Black Dog” because there was this old black lab wandering around their recording studio. “Bron-Y-Aur Stomp” is my favorite Zeppelin tune, in case you were wondering. What the hell is a “Bron-Y-Aur” anyway? If you rearrange the letters it spells “your bran.” I hate bran. Stomp your bran.

I like. I like. I like.

Oops, sorry, sometimes my brain skips and I got to conk my head to get me back on track. So where was I? Oh yeah, speaking of Rob Gronkowski, I went to high school with Tom Brady. He was a year behind me. I tell people sometimes because it makes me feel important. Only when the Patriots are part of the conversation of course, because I don’t want to seem too needy.

Sdrawkcab sdrocer ym ylap ot ekil I semitemos.

Know what’s really weird? Sometimes you can say something, say something like “Rats live on no evil star,” and you know what happens? Saying it backwards is the same as saying it forwards! There’s more examples of course, one of which is “God’s dog.” Maybe I should have named Spike, I mean Gronk, “Dog’s god,” I mean “God’s dog.” That would have been cool. People would ask me, “Where did you come up with a name like that?”

“Wikipedia” I’d say.

But like I said, I like things by association. Forwards and backwards things are pretty cute, but they get old after a while. After all, it’s not much different than ping-pong in that way.

By the way, there’s something even weirder. Like I said, sometimes I like to play my records backwards. I figured out a way to make my record player play backwards by itself. Last time I played one like that, Gronk was sitting right there, listening, and turned into a statue.

Now he doesn’t bark at all.

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